Just Philip

In case no one saw cause it was late at night.
 

Alright. Update time.

Sorry that I haven't been posting any rigs or wallpapers. These past few months have been really rough for me, and school isn't helping in anyway. I haven't had motivation or time to make any rigs or have any ideas for rigs or even wallpapers. I've just been empty and it doesn't help that I have a huge pile of homework to do that keeps stressing me out because I have to have it done. My type 1 diabetes has been out of my control a couple of times, and I even went into the hospital last month for the 7th time in 2 years. I haven't really felt all that happy about anything anymore. I hardly find joy in playing games, hanging with family, or just listening to music. It's very rare I do feel happy while doing something, and when I do, I always try to cherish the moment. I can't focus on school or work since I'm always hit with a wave of feeling down or just procrastinating (I think). I've been trying really hard to make something, just ANYTHING, but I just can't. I don't know if anyone will see this or care before it's drowned in late night posts. 

Since I have school and all of this work, don't expect to see me on that much or even doing anything other than reacting to Topics. I'm sorry if I seem to be looking for attention, I'm really trying not to. I'm just expressing how life is going for me and it isn't going that great right now. I still have past drama that I'm trying to let go of, but it always pops up somehow.

I'm sorry. When I'm feeling sad or stressed, I sometimes forget what I'm writing or what I'm saying. 
My whole point is I'm not gonna be on as much. I'm trying really hard to make something, but I have no motivation.
I just always feel sad and sometimes there isn't even any reason why. I don't have suicidal thoughts, I just feel down about some things.

Sorry. I rambled. I'll just be going. Talk to you all later, and goodnight.

Oh my gosh it finally happened... I hit 1000 rep. 
Although I still feel the same. I guess the God powers are just a myth. And there were no rainbows or thousand dollar bills, so I'm a bit disappointed. 
 
But all jokes aside, thank you guys so much. I personally don't think I deserve 1000 rep for several reasons, but apparently you, the forums do and I appreciate it so much. Even if it's just little green arrows and numbers, it still shows that I did something right, and that... isn't really a feeling I get all too often, so thank you so, so much.
I'll post something to celebrate sometime within the next few days maybe, and I am hoping to give back to you guys, so we'll see. 

something ive been trying to work on but kept losing motivation. if anyone plays BF5 and you know the outfit my oc is wearing, you know

something ive been trying to work on but kept losing motivation. if anyone plays BF5 and you know the outfit my oc is wearing, you know

Improvements

be ethaniel
doesn't want to start bank heist trend
makes a new and cool render
posts status update asking who hates him
accidentally starts trend himself

I may or may not have figured out how to use modelbench aannnnnnnnnnnd

I edited @crustyjpeg M1928 Thompson rig and gave it a WW2 vibe to it.
Hope I don't get hate for doing this. I just wasn't a big fan of the design, so instead of requesting a separate model, I just did it myself. Anyway that's all. 

a TV~


It's private for now, this TV actually is a head of my up coming HD textured blocky character model that I haven't name it yet...

YES HALF LIFE 3 
 

New update to The Modelbench Armory, and a long overdue one at that.

Contains some new guns and some new news about the Armory, all of which is good news.

WIP

Idea: Do the Hunger Games sim, using forum members. Possibly make wallpapers for certain events.

iM gOnNa tElL eVerYoNe hOw BaD mY dAy wAs fOr aTteNtioN

On a serious note, my life hasn't been the best since school started for me. It's been a little stressful and it's been hard trying to focus on work. Recently a bunch of the 6th graders (Yes, 6th graders. My school only has 9th and 6th for now.) beat the shit outta me bad enough I felt sore for the next few days and my legs and arms are still bruised and it still sort of hurts to walk. Yes, I know, a bunch of little kids beat the hell outta me, but I didn't really fight them back. I'm not a big fan of having a physical fight as I don't think fighting solves any problems. Moving on from that, I've had a huge loss of motivation to take the time to work on anything or to get out of the house and hang out with friends. I've been feeling quite sad because of family problems and issues with friends I've been having. One of my good friends sadly didn't like something I said, even though it was a joke, and she ended up blocking me everywhere. I've been getting into more and more fights with my mom and after every fight I have I always say sorry since I feel like a complete asshole after it. I'm sorry if me talking about all this made me seem like I'm looking for attention. I'm not trying to, I'm just letting out how my life has been for the past few weeks for me. Anyway, I doubt anyone will actually read this or anyone will actually see it since it'll probably be drowned in late night status updates.
I don't even know where I was trying to go with this. my life has been so messed up because of issues that I don't even know what im doing or saying half the time. I don't find joy in playing games or making a new render/rig anymore because of everything that's happened in my life. of course, people will just think im looking for attention. that's fine. believe what you want to believe I guess.

iM gOnNa tElL eVerYoNe hOw BaD mY dAy wAs fOr aTteNtioN

On a serious note, my life hasn't been the best since school started for me. It's been a little stressful and it's been hard trying to focus on work. Recently a bunch of the 6th graders (Yes, 6th graders. My school only has 9th and 6th for now.) beat the shit outta me bad enough I felt sore for the next few days and my legs and arms are still bruised and it still sort of hurts to walk. Yes, I know, a bunch of little kids beat the hell outta me, but I didn't really fight them back. I'm not a big fan of having a physical fight as I don't think fighting solves any problems. Moving on from that, I've had a huge loss of motivation to take the time to work on anything or to get out of the house and hang out with friends. I've been feeling quite sad because of family problems and issues with friends I've been having. One of my good friends sadly didn't like something I said, even though it was a joke, and she ended up blocking me everywhere. I've been getting into more and more fights with my mom and after every fight I have I always say sorry since I feel like a complete asshole after it. I'm sorry if me talking about all this made me seem like I'm looking for attention. I'm not trying to, I'm just letting out how my life has been for the past few weeks for me. Anyway, I doubt anyone will actually read this or anyone will actually see it since it'll probably be drowned in late night status updates.
I don't even know where I was trying to go with this. my life has been so messed up because of issues that I don't even know what im doing or saying half the time. I don't find joy in playing games or making a new render/rig anymore because of everything that's happened in my life. of course, people will just think im looking for attention. that's fine. believe what you want to believe I guess.

Anyone's opinion on "Ready Player One"?

new character design!

happy birthday. you didn't die this year, so that's a good thing.

You're sitting comfortable in you chair, monitoring the weather and listening to music with a cup of coffee in your hand. You decide to radio the other radio stations in the area and make sure that they are doing okay. You radio one of your close friends, Jake. He doesn't pick up. You radio him again, and this time he does pick up. You and him have a chat for a minute and you both make sure that everything is going okay for both of you. You put the radio back down, and go back to monitoring the weather. As you take the final sip of coffee, you hear beeping on the radar next to the weather monitor, and look at it. It's picking up something that has a short width, but very long body. You knew it was just the military submarines that pass by the area in the waters.  They always pass by this area, but you never know why. You quickly pick up another signal, but this time, it's in the shape of a flat sphere. It's like a disc, but it's bigger than the sub. You keep an eye on it for a bit, but after 30 minutes, you hear a faint but slightly loud explosion outside and you check the radar to see the sub is gone. It just disappeared off of the radar, but the disc shaped object is still there. Worried the explosion caused a landslide, you radio your friend again and ask if everything is okay. He says he's fine, but asks what that loud boom was about. You tell him you don't know. You look back at the radar and see the disc shaped object is gone as well. You tell Jake that you'll talk to him later. You put the radio up and keep a close eye on the radar. You have a strange feeling that something isn't right.

You're sitting comfortable in you chair, monitoring the weather and listening to music with a cup of coffee in your hand. You decide to radio the other radio stations in the area and make sure that they are doing okay. You radio one of your close friends, Jake. He doesn't pick up. You radio him again, and this time he does pick up. You and him have a chat for a minute and you both make sure that everything is going okay for both of you. You put the radio back down, and go back to monitoring the weather. As you take the final sip of coffee, you hear beeping on the radar next to the weather monitor, and look at it. It's picking up something that has a short width, but very long body. You knew it was just the military submarines that pass by the area in the waters.  They always pass by this area, but you never know why. You quickly pick up another signal, but this time, it's in the shape of a flat sphere. It's like a disc, but it's bigger than the sub. You keep an eye on it for a bit, but after 30 minutes, you hear a faint but slightly loud explosion outside and you check the radar to see the sub is gone. It just disappeared off of the radar, but the disc shaped object is still there. Worried the explosion caused a landslide, you radio your friend again and ask if everything is okay. He says he's fine, but asks what that loud boom was about. You tell him you don't know. You look back at the radar and see the disc shaped object is gone as well. You tell Jake that you'll talk to him later. You put the radio up and keep a close eye on the radar. You have a strange feeling that something isn't right.

The sound of an alarm clock going off was finally enough to get you out of bed. You get up and stretch, looking out your window. It's still a blizzard outside, and the thermostat says its -40 degrees. You make your way to the kitchen and pour yourself a nice hot cup of coffee. You make yourself a quick breakfast and eat it all quickly. You get up from the kitchen table and walk over to the door. There's a coat hanger with a bunch of old raggedy coats that you don't wear anymore because they are all a size too small, or not yours. You grab the only jacket that fits you, open the door, and walk out. You close the door behind you as you begin to walk to the Weather station to broadcast the weather. You finally make it to the door after almost freezing. You grab your keycard, slide it through the card reader, and the door unlocks. You open the door, walk in, and close it back. It's freezing cold in the station. Someone must've forgot to turn the heater and generator on. You walk back outside, closing the door on the way out as you walk around the back of the station. You find the gen covered in inches of snow. You clear off a small panel, and turn on some switches, and the station comes back to life. Finally, you walk back into the station, and you feel the warm air circulating through the building. You go upstairs and into the radio room. You sit down, turn the weather tracker and radio on, listening to the sounds of white noise and the howling of the wind from the blizzard as you get comfortably in your chair.

if you get it back  I'll get it back 

she said that to me
 

Once again, another test.