Spontaneous Explosions

"Donald Trump plays Minecraft"

An epic tale, by me.

This is best read if you're familiar with his speech pattern. 

So this is the game I've heard so much about. I know all about Minecraft, I've spoken with the best players in the country, great people, they're great people. But quite frankly, not very smart.
Can you believe this, they said to me, "Mr.President sir, with all due respect we could out-Minecraft you any day".
I said to them, "Excuse me, no. You're wrong. I have many, many friends who play Minecraft, and they told me all the things."
So you wonder what we're doing, you ask me what we're doing here, I'll tell ya'. We're winning. Winning at Minecraft.

So looking around I see grass, a lot of grass. The greenest grass the world has ever seen.  And there's a cow. Bet you get a lotta steak outta that big guy, well done. A nice well done steak.

I look over at the plain of beautiful grass, I see a vision of a house. A tremendous house, bigger and better than anything that's ever been.  We're going to build a house. We're gonna build a house, and the villagers are going to pay for it.
You ask me, Mr.President, how will we build a house? Well, we're going to punch trees. Punch many many huge, oak trees. I'm the best tree puncher, believe me. No one does it better. But We're gonna punch all these trees and craft them into things and place them down.

Idk, I was bored.