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(spoof)Forum guide

Amethyst_Dragon

By Amethyst_Dragon,
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Amethyst_Dragon

Amethyst_Dragon 266

Posted
Posted

Disclaimer this is a spoof and should not be taken seriously
And most of this is MASSIVELY sarcastic, no offense is intended.



How to avoid warning points

1. Do nothing
Works better than anything else.

2. Follow the rules
Down to the last comma

3. Report people
In other words don't stick up for yourself, just report the person and leave them wondering what it was they did.

4. Don't make enemies
be nice to everyone even if they are jerks, lap up the insults like poisoned cream. If you don't they'll report you for nitpicky things.

5. Always use proper english when venting
If you get very very deeply annoyed then write a nice long academic sounding article on it, be very careful not to mention any names. The only problem with not mentioning names is when the wrong people think it's directed at them.(Then watch in shock as people talk about pinning it...)

6. Be good friends with the chat mod
Not guaranteed to work though

7. Don't go overkill with cussing
A little bit is okay though, a lot is fine as long as you use **** instead of the actual words.

8. Be perfect
See rule 2, this works almost as well as rule 1 although not quite.

9. Wait for it...
If I get reported for this than you'll know that posting a spoof forum guide is a bad idea



How to become a mod


1. Be friends with the right people
Works better than anything else except being related to them

3. Don't start flame wars
The forums reputation is top priority

4. Be trustworthy
but not quiet

5. Gain peoples respect
Well... most peoples respect



How to stick up for yourself or others without getting in trouble


1. DO NOT outright insult anyone
If you want to insult someone do it with the upmost delicacy

2. If you want to resolve the conflict than make it sound like a discussion instead of an argument
As long as a flamewar doesn't sound like a flamewar it's probably fine.

3. LOGIC
Even though it usually breaks down

4. Proper english and calm rational statements
Are your best friends

5. Sound like you know what you are talking about
Even if you don't

6. Know that you are not wrong
But that doesn't mean your right either...

7. Don't bother with the brats
Seriously, some people just can't be talked to so don't bother

8. Care
Remember people you don't like are people too.



How to avoid all hate


1. Don't exist
works better than everything else

2. Don't be a part of any fandom
Unless you don't talk about it much

3. Don't have an opinion
About anything

4. Don't take offensive jokes offensively
Remember it's okay as long as it's a joke

5. Don't be popular
Jealousy issues commence!

6. Don't be a 'magically' popular person
It's not your fault but it does get annoying... it's like your some sort of celebrity or something...

7. Create perfect stuff
Don't post anything you make unless it's perfect and people have told you so. But don't forget to tell everyone that it's terrible and worthless.

8... This list just isn't going to end
Ever

9. Do not say you are leaving the forums
Just vanish, only pm people who are your friends about it. Then if you come back you can announce your return.

10. Don't offer to make skins for people
Unless you are a PRO and people tell you you are

11. Be gentle and polite with your words
If nothing else you'll sound mature



How to start a flamewar


It's really easy all you have to do is be VERY rude to everyone, except the staff because that would get you banned too quickly.



How to end a flamewar


1. Be a mod
If your not well then...

2. Report, report, report
Every post, if you do this I will hate you.

3. Log off before you read it
Just so it doesn't look like your watching the drama too

4. Just sit back and watch in amazement as the post count for the topic soars
45 posts in under a minute... jeez...

5. Watch the mods hush everything up
and sweep it under the carpet

6. Just watch
You can't do anything about it. The end.


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